How could I ever forget? And why would I ever want to?
These are two questions that I ask myself when people say they want to forget a period of time in their life. It is one thing if you plainly don’t remember, but actually wanting to forget seems weird to me. I’ve never actually wanted to forget a time in my life even when life wasn’t going my way.
Aren’t those the times we learn the most about ourselves and other people? Deleting all of the terrible times in your life could wipe away important lessons that you might not have learned otherwise. This is my time to grow, learn, change and be whatever the hell I want to be. That last part is the key to that entire statement. I’m going to be whatever the hell I want to be. It feels like I have lacked the encouragement to be whatever I want to be lately.
I’m busy sculpting myself and it is all happening rapidly. I’ve picked up strong feelings about violence against women, sexual violence, and civility amongst diverse populations; All three have become controversial in every aspect of my life.
How hard is it to break a habit that you’ve had for over a decade? Its damn tough and it doesn’t happen in one day. What I preach and what I do don’t add up in %100 percent of my life, but I think that is the point. I’m moving towards something. I’m changing, improving, growing, learning. Call me a hypocrite, but I am getting there.
In one year I am not going to wish to forget the time when I was struggling finding myself. Or the time period when encouragement in my life was lacking. If I did forget those moments, I would also forget why I began speaking with other people and blogging about treating people with more respect. I would forget why empathy means so much to me. I don’t want to delete anything. Not a time period. Not a person. Not a struggle.
I don’t want to forget.