I went out last night and had a great damn time, but I’m angry right now for absolutely no specific reason.
Things haven’t gone my way this semester, kinda. It’s just like any other college student. It’s senior year and this is what it is supposed to feel like. This year dictates what next year entails. There has been an anger resonating in my head that I’m extremely sick of. Many times I care too much about what people are thinking of me and it will tear you down sometimes. Sometimes.
I think I need some downtime is all, but what is downtime when you are a senior in college? Between class, basketball, charity events, a job, and that thing they call a social life, I’m just plain tired. Problem is, this isn’t the time to be tired. “Be tired later,” as my old AAU coach used to say.
I’m supposed to be improving in every aspect of my life and I feel as if I am getting worse. I’m sculpting myself into something that I don’t really want to be. That has nothing to do with my future profession or my major, but more my personality than anything. I finally figured out that people don’t know who I really am. Actually, they have no clue. Do I care to show them? Right now… ABSOLUTELY NOT. I don’t have the patience to let anyone in at this point. I have other shit to do. I’ll get it together though. Doing work all day will help. Blogging will help. A little meditation before bed will help.
Too much stuff to do. Screw it though, I’ll be tired later.